Saris Jazmyn; I stood waiting at the door. My heart is pounding. My entire life has been in order. Nothing out of place. All the rules followed. I feel exhilarated with fear as I stare at the brass doorknob. I wonder if I am sinning. I reached slowly for the doorknob and turned it. I opened the door as my chest pounded. I felt a bead of sweat form on the end of my nose. I wiped it away as I walked down the silent cement stairway. I could see Saris. His I-Phone earphones in. His back was so terribly scared and beautiful. Saris had muscles on his muscles. As he lifted the barbell, his muscles quivered and bulged as if they were screaming to escape his perfect body. I stood at the bottom of the stairs staring at his body. Listening to his grunts. His strain sounded like beasts fighting. The barbells thudded like thunder as he dropped them to the mat. He turned to grab other weights and saw me. OMG, his chest is more than I can bear. I put my hands to my mouth. I am so embarrassed. I can't speak. Saris; Sister Jazmyn, I reached for my shirt. I am so embarrassed. My heart is pounding. The woman that I long to gaze on is gazing at me. Please forgive my nakedness sister. I have never had a female guest. I was working out with only my workout shorts on. I apologized as I pulled on my white body shirt. I am sorry you saw my body. Please forgive me. Please sit here in my chair. I held the chair for Jazmyn. She sat in my chair with her hands still on her mouth. I sat on my workout bench only a foot from her knees. Jazmyn was not wearing her Habit. She had on pink leggings with a black long tee shirt. Jazmyn was sweating. I was sweating. I handed Jazmyn a clean white towel. I took one and whipped my face. Jazmyn; I apologize Saris. We spoke briefly this afternoon that I might join you for a workout some day. I apologize that I walked down into your workout room with no alert for you. I saw you were enjoying your music. I stared at you as I waited for you to get done with your lifting exercise. I am so sorry. I think that did not come out right. I feel so embarrassed. Saris; Please do not feel embarrassed. I am ashamed. I try very hard to hide my body. I had my back to you. You saw my scars. I apologize. I got hot and took my shirt off not thinking anyone would come down here. Especially not you. I am sorry. My words are not coming out right. Jazmyn; Please do not be embarrassed about your scars. Father Mark told me you have injuries. You are a handsome man. Your scars do not bother me at all. OMG, please forgive me. That came out all wrong. I do not know what is wrong with me. Saris; There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful. Beautiful in every way. Please relax. Please allow me to start over again. Jazmyn; Oh, yes. Me to. Saris; I stood and held out my hand. We touched hands. I could hear my heart beating I'm my ears. Thank you for coming and visiting me Jazmyn. Jazmyn; Thank you for having me. May I work out with you? Saris; Of, yes. Please. I saw Jazmyn look on the wall near my single spring bed with one sheet and one old dark, drab green wool military blanket with one white pillow. I saw her eyes light up as she gazed on the picture of her. I had been painting and repainting it for a long time. The oil was not yet dry from today's session. I hope she likes it. Jazmyn; May I walk over and look at the painting? Saris; Yes, of course. Jazmyn; It looks like a photograph of me. May I ask why my eyes are not open. Saris; I do not lie. Telling you the truth may turn you away from me. You may think that I am a monster. Jazmyn; I will not think such a thing. Please tell me the truth. Saris; Your eyes are always open. You see everything. I watch you watching everything. I make excuses to be in your presence, so I may watch you watching everything. Your bright blue eyes are so magnificent that I can not paint them. Each time I try, I fail and paint over them again and again. For the first time in my life, I have given up. I painted the picture with your eyes closed. Jazmyn; Your painting is very kind. You make me more than I am. I love your art. Your art makes my spirit happy. I am sorry for my bluntness. Sister Ann says that I need to work on controlling my blunt remarks. She said that I would get into trouble someday if I do not learn to keep my thoughts to myself. She says that I have no filter. Saris; I am delighted that you and I do not have a filter. You liking my painting makes my spirit the happiest that it has ever been. You know my story. You know that I am a Eunuch. That is why the priests allow me to help and be around the nuns and the children. I have no strong feelings for women. I never have. I do not understand what that means. I only know that when I look at you, I am happy. If this is a sin, then I am a sinner. Jazmyn; Then I am a sinner too. Being with you makes my heart happy. I reached out and grabbed Sarris's hand. Saris; I held Jazmyn's hand. The end.