Alfredo Avalos III

For What It Was

Jan 28, 2020 4 years ago

You never know just who or what You'll cross with throughout most days. Yet there always seems to be moments in time that leave us lost for words or full of thoughts. Though I don't fully known where my encounter may lie, I know for certain that it carries a heavy truth. And with any truth to be told, it can be applied within life and it's delights. All in mind towards a genuine honesty of life that may hopefully follow, not too far behind. The other day I was at the gym and I was at the pool so my arm was showing. Someone had noticed and asked, “oh man, what happened there?” And pointed at it. Now before that, no one had been so direct towards me about it. Usually they'd notice it and my guess, get uncomfortable or awkward and try not to notice or cause attention to it. I know what it is, but I also know what it can be seen as, perceived from the outside looking in. I know what it must do to others. But here was someone who asked, not to be devious, but out of genuine concern or harmless curiosity, not instinctively thinking that I'd possibly do it to myself, thinking it had to have been something like an attack or accident. I just appreciated that lack of assumption, she didn't jump to unfair judgement, she gave me that benefit of the doubt, and with that, I was grateful and glad to answer her question. “What happened there?” And with some thought, I told her. “I was tryin- I was looking for some answers. I didn't find them. I'm still figuring them out though. Closer everyday.” And it was then, it was as if all the obvious just hit her square in the face, she kinda tried to close her mouth, not to be so obvious with her own reaction, but it was far too late for either of us to be subtle. She wasn't put off though, she didn't suddenly shame me or become disgusted; she was just hit with a heavier unexpected answer. But then I saw a sadness, not pity, but a sadness for my wellbeing, a concern. It was warmth, no doubt in my mind, cause I felt it churning in her eyes. Like intertwined gears that wind the clock. After some ticks and tocks, she absorbed the time needed to process the situation for what it was, she spoke in a tone that she had shifted from the soul. She reached out to me and connected, “Well I'm really glad you didn't find it -there-. There's reason for why we don't always get what we want, there's moments in time when what we want most, is actually what will cause our demise. So life throws us a bone, and denies that hidden demise. Saving us, while we cry.” The hair on my arms started to raise, it's like she peaked in, and saw it for what it for was it was, and put it into words for me. I wanted to tear my wall, to show her that she had got through to me, but all I could muster was a big teethe smile, I never do so cause my teeth are a mess, but my joy wouldn't stand for anything less as it's expression. Then I looked to her with an uttermost heartfelt gleam smeared across my once broken face, and thanked her for being a wonderful human being. It was a powerful moment, and it was all within 3 or 4 minutes of small talk. She went on to finish her workout and I stayed there listening to the echo acoustics of the indoor pool. Processing the situation for myself. For what it was..

Read