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Hi, my name is Abby Dougherty and this is my coming out story. In eight grade, people starting dating (if you called only seeing each other at school and being "boyfriend and girlfriend" for two weeks dating) and I starting to notice girls. According to what I was told by society and those important in my life, I was supposed to like boys so I did but girls, that was new. They were so pretty and so different from the boys, I was entranced. It was not until September of my freshmen year in high school that I came to terms with the fact that I indeed liked girls and started the life-long process of coming out. The first time, it was at my very first marching band competition to a junior girl who was bi who I barley knew. She was super cool about it and told me to take my time coming out and to just enjoy being queer. I did not take her advice in taking my time however; I was just too excited. Granted, most of my friends are christians so I probably should have taken it a bit slower. In all honesty, I cannot remember the details of coming out to my friends. Only that all but two were either happy for me or simply comfortable with. One of the ones that was entirely supportive was my then boyfriend. I guess having your girlfriend realize she likes girls while dating you, you guy, is not the best experience but it still does not make anything he said okay. I ended up breaking up with him the following March. The other was my best friend since fourth grade. She is very tradition and very set in her ways. I love her to death and she has come a around a bit but I fear the day she has children in the case one is gay or trans or anything else she does not understand. I did not plan on telling my family as the vast majority are devote christians and are not fully on board the LGBTQ+ train. Plans were made to live with friends if my family found out and things went sour. My mother found out during and argument it witch I yelled that she would never understand and when she yelled back why, it just sort of came out, no pun intended. I screamed that it was because she was straight. She insisted it was a phase or something to be hidden, feeling that we do not act on; my heart broke. It took a year for our relationship to be the same again. A month or so later I told a cousin of mine who I thought would be supportive as they adore your gay uncle. She told me bisexuality does not exist and that I needed to choose and side and then proceeded to out me to my entire family. The next time I had seen my dad (my parents are divorced), he explained to me that it was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve (his actual words) and that I needed to rethink my choices. Oh well. It was not until March of my junior year of high school after a nasty break up with my boyfriend of over a year to finally realize I was gay. Why I hated the romance and the dates and the kissing. It made so much sense but I was so far in the closet and the influence from my family was so ingrained into me that I forced myself to endure. The second time coming out to everyone was much easier and casual, well except the first. I called my best friend up, slightly panicked, explaining how and why I thought I might be gay and she just went "Oh yeah no you totally are gay. That makes so much more sense." After that, I just would randomly say, "So I think I'm gay", and my friends just said yeah that makes sense. I was nervous to come out to my mom again, given how the last time went, so over a lean cuisine before I went to work, I out of the blue said "I think I'm gay". My mom just said "I know". How you ask. Well she said it was because all I ever talked about was girls. Did I mention the long-term boyfriend? I still have no idea how I did not realize it sooner. Now, beginning my senior year in four weeks, I am happier than I have been because I get to be myself with out fear.
A Life Without Fear
Jul 23, 2018 6 years agoHi, my name is Abby Dougherty and this is my coming out story. In eight grade, people starting dating (if you called only seeing each other at school and being "boyfriend and girlfriend" for two weeks dating) and I starting to notice girls. According to what I was told by society and those important in my life, I was supposed to like boys so I did but girls, that was new. They were so pretty and so different from the boys, I was entranced. It was not until September of my freshmen year in high school that I came to terms with the fact that I indeed liked girls and started the life-long process of coming out. The first time, it was at my very first marching band competition to a junior girl who was bi who I barley knew. She was super cool about it and told me to take my time coming out and to just enjoy being queer. I did not take her advice in taking my time however; I was just too excited. Granted, most of my friends are christians so I probably should have taken it a bit slower. In all honesty, I cannot remember the details of coming out to my friends. Only that all but two were either happy for me or simply comfortable with. One of the ones that was entirely supportive was my then boyfriend. I guess having your girlfriend realize she likes girls while dating you, you guy, is not the best experience but it still does not make anything he said okay. I ended up breaking up with him the following March. The other was my best friend since fourth grade. She is very tradition and very set in her ways. I love her to death and she has come a around a bit but I fear the day she has children in the case one is gay or trans or anything else she does not understand. I did not plan on telling my family as the vast majority are devote christians and are not fully on board the LGBTQ+ train. Plans were made to live with friends if my family found out and things went sour. My mother found out during and argument it witch I yelled that she would never understand and when she yelled back why, it just sort of came out, no pun intended. I screamed that it was because she was straight. She insisted it was a phase or something to be hidden, feeling that we do not act on; my heart broke. It took a year for our relationship to be the same again. A month or so later I told a cousin of mine who I thought would be supportive as they adore your gay uncle. She told me bisexuality does not exist and that I needed to choose and side and then proceeded to out me to my entire family. The next time I had seen my dad (my parents are divorced), he explained to me that it was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve (his actual words) and that I needed to rethink my choices. After other things happened, I stopped talking to him and am better for it. My dad's side of the family does not talk to me because of both being gay and not talking to my dad but oh well. It was not until March of my junior year of high school after a nasty break up with my boyfriend of over a year to finally realize I was gay. Why I hated the romance and the dates and the kissing. It made so much sense but I was so far in the closet and the influence from my family was so ingrained into me that I forced myself to endure. The second time coming out to everyone was much easier and casual, well except the first. I called my best friend up, slightly panicked, explaining how and why I thought I might be gay and she just went "Oh yeah no you totally are gay. That makes so much more sense." After that, I just would randomly say, "So I think I'm gay", and my friends just said yeah that makes sense. I was nervous to come out to my mom again, given how the last time went, so over a lean cuisine before I went to work, I out of the blue said "I think I'm gay". My mom just said "I know". How you ask. Well she said it was because all I ever talked about was girls. Did I mention the long-term boyfriend? I still have no idea how I did not realize it sooner. Now, beginning my senior year in four weeks, I am happier than I have been because I get to be myself with out fear.
