I woke up feeling as if I had been up all night. You know... still tired and foggy in the head. I sat on the edge of the bed trying to get my head in the game. "New morning... new opportunities. Another day to prepare for the show and experience new creativity with my writing..." I was getting dressed to make my tea, have devotion and see where inspiration would lead me before heading to the gym. I stood up, stretched and turned to go to the kitchen. Something felt wrong... I looked down... I put my leggings on over my pajama shorts! "Wow", I thought as I sat back down on my bed. I felt overwhelmed and lost as I tried to get dressed again. Once I got it right and made it to my desk, I sat there in silence- staring at the wall. I slipped into a series thoughts: First, I thought of June and how wonderful it feels to have met my goal of writing daily throughout the month. Receiving messages of gratitude and encouragement from family and friends has been indescribably rewarding! Then, I thought of the last three months of being reunited with my husband, mother and uncles and how much my life has changed and feels so much more fulfilled and purposefully. I remembered the joy that filled my heart when my eldest nephew, whom I haven't seen in over thirteen years, walked through the front door as a grown man with his beautiful family. It felt like their places in my life had been eagerly awaiting their arrival. I thought of this last year and the growth and transformation I have gone through. Six months ago I declared that 2020 will be the year that I reunite with my family, begin my writing career, get my personal trainer certification, and compete in a physique competition. My spirit lifted tremendously when I realized that I'm two for two! It felt like a ray of light shined down on me. "I'm not lost," I thought. "I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be!" ****** Life hasn't been easy. I've been hit pretty hard and had to endure some extremely devastating circumstances. I've stumbled and I've fallen. I've faced obstacles that seemed insurmountable. There have been times when I wanted to give up, let my dreams fade to black, get a "regular" job and live a "normal" life. But I just could not stand down and let Murphy's Law have control of my life. I've met each year that I have been blessed to see with renewed strength and determination. I'm 5'2 but my vision for my life is 10'7! I decided long ago that, come what may, my vision will reach its fullest potential. "All I do is win, win, win no matter what!" DJ Khaled The game or the fight. Whatever you want to call it... is not over until I win! ****** "... We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." Pierre Teilhard de Chardin Not all of your human experiences will be filled with rainbows, sunshine, and jaunts through tulips! Things aren't always going to be easy and, the majority of time, they won't even make sense. There will be times when you feel like you are in a hodgepodge of ridiculousness swirling in a whirlwind of insanity. Yes, there may even be times when the gears of your mind lock and you forget how to get dressed! You will face moments when your will to continue on lays at your feet like a deflated hot air balloon with no visible signs of puncture. Life is real! So much so that it has been referred to as a b---- by those who have been caught in the throes of its temperament. Life is an entity with a set of character traits specific to its owner. It is up to you whether life manifests itself as a co-creative, care giving confidant or a totalitarianistic, tyrannical taskmaster. Life uses situations and circumstances to either build and refine or crush and contaminate you. Even the seasons of silence- where nothing is happening and you feel as if you are floating aimlessly into the ether- have specific purposes in your experience. But, here is the key that many of us fail to realize: the results of these happenings are totally at our discretion. We choose whether we emerge wiser and stronger or witless and weakened. Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to TRY you, as though some strange thing happened unto you... 1 Peter 4:12-19 The trajectory of your life determines the scope and intensity of these trials. Make no mistake about it: the events that happen in your life are the expressed results of the decisions and choices you have made. Life experiences either happen to you or for you based on the content of your mind and the intent of your heart. You have unmitigated control of your life. Use it wisely. Live purposefully. Photo by Syed Hasan Mehdi from Pexels