He said this would be easy, that we dont need emotions to work this out. I believed him. He waa convincing. And even now when I know how hard it is to go on like this , i know I would have gotten into it again if I was given the chance. And again as long as I can. Because I still believe he is the best thing that happened to me. His drywood feelings for me, his nonchalant behavior, his hurtful words dont change that. Maybe that is how my love stands out for him. No matter how many bruises it get, no matter how many times its pen throughed , it will never stop writing its story. It writes for itself, never really wanting anything in return but you still cant call it selfless. But I used to be strong before he came into existence and redefined my whole existence. so, I tried to show him what I saw, the prepossesing beauty of it, the throbbing feeling of closeness, the raising heartbeats. I requested him to date me, to go beyond our besotted rules and explore the innocence of our relation. But he was stronger. He believed his ideologies more than me, somewhat blind. So, he refused. And we kept being the friends with benefits. I did thought about ending it. But by then the last ounch of my strength was gone for good. I needed him. The way did matter to me but not more than my desperate need. It was painful no doubt. Every night to squeeze shut my eyes as if somehow that could blurr out my unvalued love for him. To wake up with a smile only to realise it was just a dream. To hope for a beautiful text only to get a emoji. But i know I will survive. And one day we will switch places. I will heal. And he WILL know how it felt. No.. not the pain that i went through. I never want him to suffer the path i walked through. But I am waiting for the day when he feels the LOVE of making love!!