So, there's this girl from my school; she's the most loyal and hard-working people I have ever met. There's just one problem. She hates me. Let's take this back to when we were 11, At first sight I knew I wanted to be her friend;. I loved her more than anything but had a problem with appreciating things until they were taken away from me. Hence why I thought it would be a good idea to tell her to stay away from me after 2 years of our friendship, I thought she was toxic but I was wrong. My best friend was the toxic one, hurting me and emotionally abusing me for the next 2 years of my life. I realised how big of a mistake I had made and then tried to fix it. Obviously, it all went horribly, we ended up arguing and she told me our whole friendship was a lie; that she never liked me, her friends found me annoying and that I was one of the biggest mistakes she had ever made. From that point on I didn't contact her. I would look back on photos some days and cry myself to sleep. Hating that I was now stuck with a toxic best friend and the person I loved most in this world wanted nothing to do with me. I was emotionally and physically a mess. I gave up. That was until I came across a quote read: “If you looked back at yourself in twenty years' time, could you have tried harder?” I shot up from my slouched position and had the biggest smile on my face. I could try harder and I would! I immediately decided to come up with my plan, I could ask her to talk. Now that we were both 2 years older, we would have been more reasonable with the way we dealt with things, right? But of course, I went for the difficult and risky route; I befriended her best friend and tried to get through to her that way. If i was friends with someone that close to her, she should be more open to having me as a friend. So, I had started to get closer to her best friend, but it was all going too far and her best friend loved and cared for me more that she did for anyone! How had this girl prioritised me over everyone, when all I wanted was to use her to get to someone else? I would still try my best to love her back. But it didn't work. I fake loved her for 10 months, to me she was just a tool that I used in order to obtain my goal. Which I did obtain. I was her friend! I had gotten back this amazing person back into my life and I had honestly never been better. I had faked not 1, but 2 friendships in the process but I finally had something that I had been trying to get for years. That was however, until everything fell apart five months later. The loyal, loving, caring friend had stopped caring about all of us. I didn't mind. I didn't need her to care and love me in order for me to do the same. But my other ‘friends' hated her. They were forever calling her names, talking about how she betrayed all of us. Her emotions were all over the place and these people decided that she was the one in the wrong? These ‘friends' that I didn't even care about, were against the idea of me talking to the girl that I'd tried to befriend for nearly 4 years.I didn't care. I continued texting her. Some 'friends' knew I was talking to her called me fake and back-stabbing. I mean I was talking to one of my ‘friends' ex-best friends but it was none of their business. But I needed them to think I hated her. Which hereby births stupid plan #3. Bad mouth her. Talk so much crap about her that everyone believes I hate her. That way I'll have nobody asking me any questions or calling me fake. But I didn't think it through. I thought everything was fine. Text her at night, come to school the next day and laugh at the jokes my ‘friends' make about her. Everything was fine until suddenly there's a change in her tone when she texts me. She doesn't text back for days, sometimes even weeks. So, I ask her, and it all came out. She heard what I said about her, all those empty insults and pathetic attempts of getting other people off my back finally reached the one person I care about most; and resulted in her wanting nothing to do with me all over again. I sat there that night on the phone with her, weakly trying to get to her understand my situation but I knew it was helpless. The things that I said about her were disgusting. I cried and cried on the phone, muting the mike. Letting the tears flow aimlessly onto my pillow. I'd messed up and nothing I could do could fix this. I had to go to school the next day, eyes still puffy from the night before. None of my ‘friends' cared to ask what happened. I sat all day holding in tears, holding my head down, holding myself together. I had to get out of this school. I couldn't handle seeing her knowing I ruined one of the best things that had ever happened to me. And was now stuck with many ‘friends' that I didn't care about. Within the next two weeks I was moving school, to a whole different city. I could start over! Except I still cried daily, still hated myself for a mistake I could never take back. Betrayal. Back-stabbing. B*tch.