Dear first love....  I don't even know where to begin. So, I will start with this. You hurt me. There is so much confusion and hate inside of my heart, that used to be filled with unconditional love and trust. The heart that would trust someone just because they asked me to. Growing up I was taught that if someone loved you, they would show you and tell you. I believed that, with all of my heart. But, when we were little kids, we believed that people waited until they were 21 to drink, and waited until marriage to have sex. Turns out those things aren't true. Just like I found out your words weren't either.     You have made me a better person. Although I sat in agony for days, drowning in my own tears and wallowing around, you've taught me a lot. You taught me that I shouldn't care what others think of me. You've broken down walls that I never let anyone even get close enough to climb and look over. I opened up to trying new things, and you created a more adventurous side of me, with my anxiety driven self. You taught me to love myself.. because one day, you wouldn't want to love me anymore.        You also taught me that only a man could handle my strength, independence, loyalty & commitment, and that a boy can't.       Dear first love, as I lie in bed at night and look at our pictures and read our old texts through a blurred lens, I wipe my eyes, and remind myself of a few things. You no longer have power over me. You no longer choose my emotions. I'm no longer allowing you or this heartbreak to have the power to make me cry, ache, and get angry. Because if you were a man, you would have stayed. You would have done anything and everything to keep me.               but you didn't. Perhaps, I wanted to fix you. When it wasn't my place to, and maybe that's why I wanted to keep you so badly. Maybe i thought I didn't do my job.  Dear first love, I've said all that I need to say. Except for this. Love her. Love this girl who comes into your life fearlessly. Don't play those games with her head and heart like I know you already are. She probably hates me, although, she should probably thank me instead. Remember to always consider her feelings. Never tell her that they are wrong, because that will break her. Trust me. Don't get angry when she asks if you still like her, because reassurance is nice. Remember that when you are in a relationship, she is the only girl that you should want. I pray that this girl gets the loyalty that I didn't always receive.  I hope that you can show her the grace and patience that I showed you. Because after all you have taught me, you've learned quite a few things from myself.  Maybe this is why we were together, right? Maybe I was the girl who was supposed to teach you how to love a human being more than anything you could imagine.  So, Dear first love, thank you. For all the good and the bad. You've made me stronger than I was. I hope that I did the same for you. But, don't forget me. I was a big part of your life once.                             Sincerely,                  “The one you still love”