In March of 2021, near the end of a long and very unhealthy relationship, I came to a sudden realization: I needed to change. I made some mistakes I'm not proud of. I was trapped in an endless purgatory, stuck in a void where my life and my future seemed hopeless I took a step back and began changing my environment. I looked within myself for answers, and I've been aided by my wonderful support group every step of the way. I termed it a "journey" at the time, and as pretentious as it may sound, it's certainly been one so far. So, here's a fraction of my story... I didn't think I'd live to my twenty-fifth birthday; I considered it a miracle I even made it to my eighteenth. My physical health situation was (and still is) very complicated; I was also still emotionally unwell enough to firmly believe my life would be short and meaningless. I had a rough childhood; I don't think I experienced a single year without serious depression, health complications, bullying, or some other traumatic event taking place. A few people in my life told me I was a "survivor", but I never felt like one; I had felt, for a long time, that I simply "endured" and was on "borrowed time". One major life event after another, and I didn't feel any stronger or safer as a result. The clock was always ticking; my past and future were ever-present in my thoughts and dreams, and I dwelled on both far too often. So, what changed? The relationship I clung onto and hid behind was gone; nothing could shield me from reality anymore. Instead of running away, I embraced it, and began to outline my plans. To start, I needed to assess my past mistakes thoroughly, so I'd never repeat them; I needed to make sure I learned the root of each problem and how to prevent similar situations from happening again. After I finished doing so, I finally let go of those memories and moved forward; I'd stagnated for a long time, so taking any "first steps" were a terrifying prospect early on. I also needed to fundamentally change who I was; I was lacking an individual identity, and I quickly understood how unhappy I was with my current self at the time. When I made enough natural progression in those areas, I tackled my future; over the years, my main goal, in the broadest sense, was to attain my best self. Becoming my best self came with many unexpected and new occurrences, but I learned how resilient I could be through those experiences (good and bad). I eventually realized I wasn't a bisexual, gender-fluid man; I'm actually a lesbian woman, and my transition was, with hindsight, inevitable. I became less stubborn and genuinely listened when people gave me advice; I let go of my past arrogance and naivety, and came to terms with how little I truly understand. I became more optimistic; depression isn't something which can be cured, but it can be managed if you have the tools and desire. I accentuated my best qualities and either erased or altered my worst ones; I double-downed on my loyalty, honesty, and authenticity, and became more independent, complete, and consistent. I chose my career path, and I methodically began to tackle my social anxiety. For the first six months, I worked myself to death, internally; I made some progress of note essentially every week, and I set myself on a rapid, unforgiving pace. After a year or two, it was as if I'd grown five years older; the person I was before this started became something akin to a separate lifetime or a ghost from my past. I only began slowing down half a year ago; maybe that's when I finally understood the purpose of taking each day slowly and remaining in the present. Regardless, I earned a slower, less mentally taxing day-to-day life. The most difficult battles are behind me, and the few remaining ones can take the rest of my life, if they must. My hard work paid off; I'm the person I always wanted to be, more-or-less. It's now July of 2024. I was barely 22 years of age when my "journey" started. I began as a man with no future, and I'm now a woman whose future is full of promise. I'm no longer a survivor; I'm a conquerer. I don't wait for my life to get better; I carve my own path and reach for the things I want most. While I'm not physically better than I was a few years ago, I'm the happiest I've ever been; I used to believe self-love and true happiness were unattainable for me, yet they're within reach and almost in my grasp. I always believed anyone could change if they tried hard enough; yet, I never believed those words applied to myself. My "journey" is far from over, and much of my story is yet to be written, but what I've accomplished in a few short years is, honestly, insane. I don't know if sharing this will bring hope or inspiration to another person, but anyone can change if they wholeheartedly want to; you don't have to run a marathon like I did, but the sooner you start, the better. And maybe, in a few years, you'll have your own "journey" to share...