they looked as i looked at me Not tryin to judge but they only fixed on what was precieved Subcontience in the subcautius mind Tryna figure it oout only to see something beyond a persons reality Some seem to think I have the personality That just draws people in Like an angel in a saint livin in the flesh ( power trippin ) cause of Satan Always making bad choices Unsure how it starts or when the **** its gonna end This rollercoaster ride got me sometimes not afraid if Im living or dying I will fight till my last breath, i would give them my all if my all was all I had to give so they could breath in heaven over and over again I have to undo what I have sowed so i know When its time to go They wont be left alone to fight I need to do the deeds with the tools and seeds he gave unto me Riches isnt money its a special thing like when a man an a women conceive a baby But before u work hard to buy a home Some people arent so lucky they dont have money food water or a place to call home Proverty had divided people left them homeless an alone

The world seems to be falling Apart But I ain't falling or sub coming to The new world order I'ma fight till the end, let them. Know who I am Because when the world ends he'll grab hold of my hand Clairvoyance sets in then that's when my god will show me his plan Divide the world. So that they can understand They disobeyed What his commandments had said Our father is angry When he arises No one will recognize this man who was sent for us so we could repent To be sent to heaven But No one makes it it's to bad now he cant hear the the cries Of his kids Its life as we know it.its all about to end

Many lesson's go without being a thought of teaching . Such as child sexual abuse! exploitation and rape ( sometimes brutally ) abuse will always be traumatizing no matter what ! But for children it can be harmful not physical but mentally . in my case I was a 7 year old little girl who didn't see the wrong it what was happening at home . For 25 year's I protected this man while he built his life and mine was being destroyed by the second. This man was One of my brother's best friend's and someone my father had looked at as another son. he has kids a job his life seems so picture perfect from the out side . he was living the dream until one day I watched this story on the news It was about a man that had held this women captive for some time in hopes she would eventually would fall in love with him All of a sudden tears flowed down my face and I began to sob, I didn't really comprehend why at this point! then over time it hit me I was confused for year's shamefully now seeing I had been confused about being in love with him . I for the longest time felt ashamed and i didn't dare tell anyone because well how can it be assault if I was confused about my feeling's ( I was 7) To me this was normal As much as I hate to admit it my father use to rape my mother almost on a daily basis so I thought this was acceptable. now everything in life seems so questionable

During this pandemic it seems as if a huge panic set in and rightfully so ! But for me covid-19 - an adjustment ( Time felt like it stood still) 4 the first time I felt like I could take time and work on myself effectively an not feel like time was running out .. everything shut down ,the government with exception of essential's for me that meant it was time to get my shit together and create my life's master piece I spent most of my life wondering how I was gonna be successful and exceed the limitation's I had set for myself but fore most how I could break the circle of destruction my family had created! for generation's . Since the start of my time life was a disaster , my life resembled the tv series show shameless and a sprinkle of Cinderella cleaning cooking doing chores in many ways my father an alcoholic , my mother mental health issues she was also a battered women I wasn't the oldest one but I was the oldest girl in my house I was forced to take care of another little girl growing up changing diapers by the time i was 7 feeding, dressing her doing all and above except the obvious my parent's would have to doctor's appointment's and so on! …. So During covid it seemed to be a perfect time to soul search set goal's and figure out what it was I wanted for me kids my life and most of all me So I decided to Finally write a book . This book will cover so many topic's and range through many situations that could trigger some or it could help I want my pain to be someone's beauty and know I made a statement in life or someone's life . In order to be the change in the world the only way I know how is through words Too be the change I want to see in the world To help someone open up and have a voice and know people are there and know how u feel in some situation's and that your not alone Too feel alone but never be alone is one of the most traumatizing thing's in the world and no one should have to feel that way ever