I remember when I used to dream about the things I wanted to become, but now that's gone because I met the reality. I saw the dark in the world when I was 8 and molested by a family friend and I kept silent soon my mom left. I remember I called her with the mindset to bring her home no matter what. "Mommy I miss you and want you to come home" is what I said when I heard her voice. She couldn't understand me because I started sobbing after she hung up I decided I would tell my father what his friend did to bring my mom home. She came home to bring me to her sister-in-law. It wasn't what I wanted but at least I was with her. We moved in with my aunt meaning I had to change schools. I was called things from slut to disappointing because I didn't stop the man that showed me how the world really is. I agreed with them. I still agree with them 5 years later. Now in the 8th grade, I realized I will never have the childhood I lost and neither will the kids who also had to see the truth.

If I ever kill myself I want to make sure everyone I love is happy before I leave so I know they are taken care of.

Why do some people feel like they have to do bad things? I have always asked this since I was 8years old after the 1st event that opened my eyes to the reality of the world. I won't lie, I say hurtful things. Sometimes I physically hurt people. That's what happens when you're corrupted, right? When people hurt you so much you hurt others. If I feel like this now I'm scared for the future me, or will there even be a future me? I don't want to hurt anymore or anyone for that matter. I want to change and I'm asking you to change with me. Think before you act and become the best you over time. So people don't have to hurt. So people like me won't fear the future. So people like me won't try to end their future.

I jolt up grabbing the darkness, searching for something to hold on to so I don't fall… Oh! It was just a dream. Just a dream… I reach over and turn on my lamp. The cold wraps around me and I shiver. The white ghost-like light flashes 1:36 at me. Yawing I get up and roll out of bed. The floor feels like ice. I shuffle out of the room and into the shadowy hallway. Somethings wrong. What is wrong? Brushing off the feeling I slowly walk down the softly carpeted stairs and touch the hard wooden rail to guide me. Silently walking to the kitchen I grab a glass cup and fill it with water. My breath catches as a hand slides across my shoulder. Shrieking I spin around and the glass breaks in my hand, the rest shattering on the pale cream tiles. The air chills and I feel a trickle leak down my arm. Thick red blood flows in a stream from my hand dripping on the floor, a splat sound each time the drop explodes on the glass and water covered floor. I snap out of my daze and quietly ask whos there.No response. Louder, I repeat my question. The only sound that responds is the echo of my own voice. I imagined it.No ones here. I tiptoe around the glass and flip the light switch, the color of the room sweeps into view. The mess isn't that bad. I rinse the cuts and blood off in the sink. Grabbing a broom I sweep up the pieces and wipe away the watery red mixture with a few paper towels. I head to the bathroom and bandage my small wounds. I walk back out and the lights flicker a warning that sends my heart into a quickly beaten drum. A tall black humanlike figure stands in an uncomfortable position. It flashes with the lights. Before I can scream it disappears. You're seeing things. That wasn't real. I just need to go outside. Fresh air is what I need, a nice walk. I go outside and glance at the forests of darkened trees with grey clouds looming over.Wait.I look again and a red liquid trails into the opening of the forest. Please no… But what if someones hurt..? I slowly creep toward the trail. I follow until it ends at a tall tree. The tree where 13 supposed witches were hung in 1731. A twig snaps behind me kicking my heart into overdrive. I call out.No one responds. Then something moves in the darkness. It comes closer. It's the black thing from my kitchen. I whimpered for it to please leave me alone. It's getting closer. What do you want from me I shouted. Still coming. I back against the tree and close my eyes. I count to 10.When my eyes open I see his face, red empty soulless eyes with a wide toothy grin. He opens his palm and shiny knife flashes in the faint sunrise. I'm going to die...

It heals It breaks It gives It takes Jumping, laughing, singing, living Crumpling, crying, screaming, dying It gives you breath and steals it too But with it ill go through the pain to stay with you It hugs, lives, comforts, and cuddles It stabs, kills, suffocates, and destroys couples Colorful and lifeless Trustful and controlling Giggles and tears Shouts and cheers Loves a hard game it sad But it's true But with it ill go through the pain To stay with You