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Hey guys, I'm CoCo--a homeschooled freshman with a passion for writing, music, and Jesus. As Hawk Nelson says in his song: "words can build you up, words can break you down--start a fire in your heart, or put it out." I believe I can change the world through my writing, so I write whatever I feel inspired to write--whether it be a short story, novel, or song. I'm a "Jesus freak" with dc talk, a "soul on fire" with Third Day, and I want to "do something" with Matthew West. I don't know what my future holds, but I know Who holds it. To God be the glory forever.
Dependence Means Freedom
Feb 13, 2019 5 years agoIndependence—everybody wants it. When the British taxed the colonists, they got upset and decided to declare their independence. When a teenager FINALLY makes it to their 18th birthday, they celebrate their newly-found freedom from their parents. I don't know too many people who would eagerly serve another man as a slave. All of these things are so because everyone wants to be independent; everyone wants to do what they want when they want; no one wants to be held back by anything. People want to be free. But what if I told you that there is more freedom found in dependency than in independency? It appears to be a contradictory statement, so let me explain. It was a warm August day, and I stood on the grass watching two girls walk out into the lake. They were being baptized that day, and my family had come to the picnic to celebrate. I wanted to be happy for them--I really did--but my stomach was twisted in too many knots to offer anything more than a half-hearted smile. If I had been brave, there would have been three girls in the water that day. Unfortunately for me, I was too scared to be baptized because I hated crowds, attention, and giving testimonial speeches. I just could not bring myself to do it. August soon came to a close and my disobedience was pushed to the furthest possible corner of my mind where I hoped it would be forgotten. September and October passed with only a few reminders of my shortcoming, and the holiday season came and went in a blur of turkey, wrapping paper, and a giant falling ball. By January, I was ready to forget about it for good and start over. But despite my best efforts, God wasn't ready to let it go just yet, and I found myself drowning—not in the lake, but in conviction. The God of the universe asked me to do something so simple, yet I couldn't do it. I wanted to follow Him, I wanted to depend on Him for strength, but I didn't know how; instead, I found myself at rock bottom crying in despair. I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't good enough, I'd never be free from the shame that shackled me each and every day, I told myself. But I had one last resort, and that was prayer. So I sat at my desk and looked out the window, silently asking God for a second chance and the strength to follow through. I let go of my problem and gave it to God. It didn't seem to do much, but behind the scenes, those few words that didn't even come out of my mouth audibly were going to change the course of my life. I walked into church three days later--January 6th--with that prayer being the last thing on my mind as the pastor started the service. He went over an announcement, then another one, and another. But the last one caught my attention more than the rest. I sat up in my seat. Did he really just say 'baptism service'? I asked myself. It couldn't be true, could it? As he talked on about the details, I realized that his words were more than just my imagination—they were really real. My fear melted that instant. I was astonished; I was thankful; I was amazed. I was baptized on February 10, 2019. If I had continued to depend on myself—my own strength—I would never have gotten anywhere. I would still be frozen to the grass by the lake, staring at the water wishing I had the faith to step forward. But I am free from my shackles of fear and it's all because I decided that independency wasn't the answer. Self-reliance doesn't always get you anywhere but surrender and dependency on God will always get you exactly where you need to be. If I've learned one thing these past few months, it's that surrender to God results in freedom. I've never been closer to God--never been happier--never been so hopeful and trusting that He is faithful. I recently found an out-of-state college that is offering a writing workshop camp, and as an aspiring author I desperately want to go. Unfortunately, with all of the expenses necessary to make that trip happen, it would take a miracle to get me there. Fortunately, however, I serve a God who knows no bounds. I immediately got online and started searching for contests, and it just so happened that I stumbled upon Biopage. Maybe I'm meant to go to writing camp, maybe I'm not. But I have written this essay in an attempt to win, and now I prayerfully give it to God because I can't rely on my own self. Dependence on Him is always the answer, because dependence means freedom.
