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I will write and write till I can't no more! From Nigeria, I so much believe words are so powerful in achieving world's connectedness and unity. ❤️
The Stammerer
Jul 30, 2024 3 months agoSince my childhood I have had a speech impediment, a stutter. Words make me choke as if there is a cork in my throat. It's a fight I wage every day; the fight against the flesh. School was a nightmare. Children would copy me, their giggling like the jabs of a blade. I would just sit in corners wanting to die or at least vanish into thin air. Writing was my way of escape, I turned to it to cease the noises running through my head. Literature became my universe, my refuge where everybody was somebody but me, where characters turned into heroes and heroines or brave hearted when I was not even a brave hearted. I took all my rage and aggression out on the paper and creating fictional worlds where I was in control. I was fortunate to walk away and go to the park one day on a sunny afternoon. It was simple and silent from the noise and chaos of school. While sitting on a bench deep in thoughts, I saw a young boy who was having problem to express himself with his mum. He was pointing at our maps and gesticulating in the manner that is typical of an insistent child when he is angry; his face was red. Without exaggeration, it was like a reflection of something that would be created much later. In particular, I realized how the boy's mother answered him with kindness and warmth of her look filled with compassion. The boy was not being shunned or laughed at, or that his worth has been diminished due to his inability to talk. Just pure acceptance! There was a change in my perception as to how I viewed my stammer, in that, for the first time I did not necessarily view my stammer as a bad thing but, rather, as a way of speaking that is entirely unique. I went near the boy being very shy at first. Then gradually we tend to communicate with the help of gestures and smiling. It was embarrassing but at the same time it was liberating. I admit I never saw myself like the others saw me, a boy stammering and lost, but in that moment I perceived that the stammer was not the essence of my being. He later became my closest buddy in high school. For hours we sat together, not saying a word to one another. His acceptance enabled me to go out into the world with a different attitude all together. Even the mocking still occurred but it did not take on the same sharp bite as before. But I had, for the first time in forever, spoken as a person and not a victim; I had found myself in my heart that was pounding underneath my stammer. While we were growing up, we were also growing our friendship. I recall having discussed the depth of our speech situation and having made a point about there being so many other children in the world for whom things could be even worse. This is the time when the idea germ was sown. We wish to leave a place, a refuge for children like us. A place that they will not be the only ones going through it, a place that they can be comfortable being themselves and a place where they can find their purpose. Our organization began small, working in nearby schools as delivering workshops regarding speech and communication. It was not an easy journey but having people and situations that you both faced build your fighting spirit. Each child who learnt to smile and accept himself/herself was a reinforcement to the mission and determination. Today, we have an organization that symbolizes hope to the people. It is important to acknowledge our organization is involved in designing the therapy, education and support programs. Hence we have developed a community where the children will be able to grow despite impediments in speaking. And most importantly, we've proved to the entire world that the ‘stuttering' is not a disability, but the yet to be explored potential. Our experience has been one of the most inspiring, where people protected their friends until the last moments and learn how to go on notwithstanding all difficulties. Now that I look back, I only understand that once there was a boy who owed his voice, but today he has an opportunity to guide people who are unable to find theirs.
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